Random Thought 3: I Should be Celebrating my Birthday

ORIGINAL POST MADE ON FACEBOOK AUG 21, 2010

Instead of getting ready to go hang out and celebrate my last day as a 29-year old, I’m sitting in bed in deep thought. I’ve shaken my head over a hundred times at the fact that in the last 29 years, I’ve been through some stuff, especially the last ten. Over the past ten years, I was forced to grow up quick and make decisions that made me and then some that broke me. With those decisions and experiences, I’ve learned that I couldn’t do anything else other than treat them as stepping stones and learning experiences.

As I continue to move forward in my thoughts, there’s one thing that stands out the most to me and that’s something that happened a couple of years ago. I’ve been tight lipped about it and have only shared it with a few people. Last week would have been my first year marriage anniversary to someone I thought God had for me. Well, the key word in that last sentence is a word I overlooked- THOUGHT. I THOUGHT this guy was the one for me- I didn’t KNOW.

This guy and I had been off and on for a couple of years and talk about emotional roller coaster, I was going through it! One day I was adamant on giving up and this guy comes and talks about marriage. Long story short, I agreed and next thing you know, we’re making plans only to be hit with some disturbing information from him which would forever change my life and how I view the male specie. I knew since then, I’d never take another guy serious.

Yes, there are days where I want to get married and have a family but then there are days where I just say, to the hell with it- I’ll live happily ever after with my dog Boots and my adopted child. As I continue to think on it, I ask myself am I being fair? Well, I can honestly answer that by saying no but then I ask myself, when is anything ever fair?

In my eyes, nothing is ever fair. Sometimes I’d sit and think if I cried enough it would wash away the unfairness and allow me to start on a clean slate and I would be able to move forward. Well, that didn’t work because I’m still hanging on to the hurt and won’t take nor believe anything anyone has to say.

I’ve dated a few guys but BS would happen and I’d just walk the other way.

Over the past couple of nights, I’ve questioned whether or not I’d let what I experienced affect me for the rest of my life and to be honest, I’m not sure. A friend once said, you’ll continue to allow it to affect you UNTIL you whole-heartedly forgive him. Well, I’ve been stubborn for quite some time but now it’s like, how do you forgive someone you don’t even speak to? Then I ask, why should I be the forgiving one? How could I forgive someone for doing something like that to me. Now, let me remind you, I’ve been through some stuff, but this one here I believe put the icing on the cake and now it’s like, there’s nothing else that could be done or said to me that’d hurt me anymore… I guess that’s why there are no more tears, I’m always on guard and why I’m “mean” as others would put it.

Oh well… As I end my 29th year and go into my 30th year of living, I really pray for guidance on how to get past this… I pray for the strength to forgive whole heartedly. I also pray that no one has to go through or experience what I’ve been through.

Well, off to bed I go.

Good night!

Vernishia Renee

Random Thought 2…

I’m in a world where the internet is a part of our culture and with many social networking sites, I come across a lot of guys who shoot me messages asking if I could tell them more about myself. Well, I like to believe usually in an about me section- you’d find out a bit about the person and figure out what else there is you’d want to know. Well, more and more on Facebook AND MySpace I’m running into the same thing over and over again: “You’re beautiful,” or “Your eyes and smile tell so much.”

Okay, I agree but there’s really nothing I can tell you about me. For some it comes easy but for me, it’s not that easy.

I’m usually the one who can show you what I’m about  as opposed to telling you what I’m about. I can also say this, I’m not in social networking looking for a relationship.

I received a message at one time where someone asked me to tell them more about me.  He like everyone else mentions that there’s something about my eyes and smile that showed so much but knew it was only something that it was something that existed on the surface and he wanted to know more.

I didn’t say much in reply except for, “Eyes… A wonderful thing! Smile… even more wonderful. Not only are the two beautiful gifts to me from God- they’re powerful and effective in many ways! My personality is pretty much what you see is what you get BUT I’m more shy than I am outgoing. I’m simple yet complicated. I’m nice yet rude. I’m loving yet mean. I’m just me

Again, I really I don’t know how to really TELL folks about me all I can say is I’m allowing you to SEE who I am. I believe anyone can TELL you about themselves and at times those same people fail to really have their self descriptions match their character.

There’s something that’s always stayed with me: Your word description of self oftentimes match your character but nine times out of ten your character should speak for itself and there are no words needed.

It’s unfortunate that in today’s society and with social networking becoming more and more popular everyday, we as humans are so caught up in initially seeing only the surface that we fail to nitpick which includes looking past the photos and making a stop somewhere around the about me section and sometimes even paying attention to random posts that are made. When we take time out to do those things, we tend to find out more about an individual before saying I want to get to know you based off what I see in your pictures.

I know… I know… everyone’s not like me, but I do those things. I make it my business to check out the person’s page and then I proceed in asking specific questions based on what I’d like to know in specific.

I encourage not only men, but women too to ask specific questions so you can receive specific answers and not broad ones.

If there’s anything you want to know from me, ask a specific question and I’ll give you a specific answer and NOT ignore you!

Vernishia Renee

Random Thought…

Sandra Rose irritates the sh!t out of me. I honestly do NOT go to her site because I’m entertained, I go there to see what dumbasses she praises and what real people she bashes. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with Sandra Rose but she sure as hell ALWAYS puts the likes of TI & Tiny on a high pedestal as if they’re truly the King and Queen of Atlanta. I can’t recall one time since TI and Tiny’s recent arrest that she’s called them dumbasses or whatever degrading comment she chooses to use, yet, she ask’s what’s the deal with Jay-Z signing a 9-year old to his label. Where is the harm in that? I don’t see it BUT I do see harm in constantly praising dumb people who associate themselves with dumb sh!t. At any rate, I find it nice that Jay-Z stepped outside the box and signed Willow Smith and no, I don’t think she should be somewhere playing with Barbie dolls.

We’re in a new day and age where Willow has probably put hope in other children’s eyes who are in fact her age! They too can be stars

http://sandrarose.com/2010/09/what-is-the-deal-with-jay-z-signing-a-9-year-old/

Vernishia Renee

FAB Concert: Usher at Summer Jam!

So, after twiddling my thumbs a few days since being here in San Diego, my GF Kika came home from work and said Usher was gonna be in town at some summer jam… I was a tad bit geeked saying to myself, “Usher?” Then I paused… “Does he still have it?” I shrugged my shoulders and my GF bought the tickets.
Well, as much as I was torn in thinking to myself does Usher still have it as an entertainer, going to the concert was definitely something that’ll break up the monotony of twiddling my thumbs while all my friends were at work during the day. The concert definitely adds some excitement to my vacation here in San Diego.
The concert lineup includes Akon, Justin Bieber and B.O.B. I do expect there will be a bunch of teeny boppers there BUT nonetheless I’m going to see for myself if the ‘Usher’ man still has it!
I’ll report back soon… I’ve been tryin to hype myself up by listening to his latest album Raymond vs Raymond… It’s slowly but surely growing on me AND I’m learnin the lyrics too.
What?! You thought I was gonna let them teeny boppers show me up while they knew ALL the lyrics… Yeah right!

Well, gotta zip.
Until next time
Vernishia Renee

FAB New Video: Toni Braxton- Make My Heart

I’ve been a fan of Toni Braxton since she came out in the early 90′s. There’s been a flop here, a flop there but I’ve remained loyal to her as an artist.

She makes a comeback with a very obvious upbeat song. I like that it’s different. I also love her wardrobe selection. I’m a bit disappointed with her choice style for her hair.

When I looked at the video at first, I thought it was Monica. I’m sure it’s a trend BUT I wish she would have stuck with something a bit more original to her.

Well, enjoy the video- it’s pretty nice

Until next time…
Vernishia Renee

Random FAB Thoughts: Happy. Yes, that’s me!

For once in my life, I can say that I’m happy! What for? It doesn’t matter… Just know that I’m happy!

I’ve spent 29 years and four months on this earth and don’t know if I was ever really happy.

For once in my life, I am content with where I am. I know… I know… I’ve said it before but today, I really mean it! Who can say they’ve travelled the world and is perhaps an Iraq War Veteran? Yes, so what the travelling came at the government’s expense. I deserved it!

Another reason why I’m happy:

Almost 15 years ago, I stepped foot inside a radio studio thanks to the late Mr. Ralph Garner and his mentoring program at Withrow High School. I remember walking around, trying to listen to our tour guide explain what goes on at the radio studio. Gosh! I wish I remembered which one it was… The guide had me when he said, “Oh shoot! Ya’ll just missed D.L. Hughley.”

My eyes didn’t become wide because it was D.L. Hughley we had just missed, but the fact that famous people do go by radio studios. I always wondered when I’d hear someone on radio, whether or not they were there in person.

The guide went on, talking about everything that took place at their station. I couldn’t for the life of me believe that everything that took place was at a very small location.

Don’t ask me what I learned that day during our tour. Oh wait, I did learn something. I learned that I wanted to be somewhere in radio playing all of the latest hits.

Well, it’s 15 years later and guess what? I’m somewhere hosting my own radio show, The Morning Mix. This is actually my third radio stationed I’ve worked at in four years and wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else in the world.

Now, you may laugh because it’s not like your average 101.1FM or V103FM radio station- but guess what? It’s a radio station.

This is what makes me happy. Music, whether you know it or not, is the soundtrack to life.

You ever had something happen and you hear a song and then some time later, the song comes on and it takes you back to that specific moment? Yeah, to me it’s soundtrack music.

For many who know me, music makes me extremely happy. Like right now, I took a break from editing video so I can post this- BUT I had my music playing as well…

You may ask yourself, how can I do it. I’ll tell you, I don’t have an answer. It just happens!

I’m sitting here enjoying a message I got today from someone I emailed. R.L. of the r&b music group, Next. I simply asked were they going to come out with another album and if they still do shows together. R.L. replied and I’m like dang! That’s what I’m talkin about… An artist who’s still in touch with his fans. That gesture along with what he said was the highlight of my day. I don’t know which meant more R.L.’s reply or Ralph Tresvant sending me a kiss over Twitter! LOL

Anyways, back to being happy, I’m happy for many reasons: being a service member, an Iraq War Veteran, A radio dj, a tv news producer, I’m living comfortably and don’t have to rely on anyone but God to make it through, and most of all I’m happy to be a human being who remembered to wake up and count her blessings and send thanks to the Creator because without Him, none of this would be possible.

Phil 4:12-13
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

I’m also happy that I’ve become more attentive to my own needs and putting myself first. I’ve spent years putting others needs and feelings before mine, which in the end resulted in heartache, disappointment and pain. Umm… not anymore!

Shoot! I’m just happy!!!

So, tell me… Are you happy today?

Gotta get back to work.

Until next time…

Vernishia Renee

FAB Motivation: Move on Successfully

After a brief conversation with a friend who always seems to say things that hurt but will definitely put me n check- I realized one thing about myself.

That one thing I’ve realized about myself is this: I will NEVER be able to move on successfully if I don’t let go of my past.

I say that to say this: If for some reason you don’t feel you’re successful whether personally or professionally, try letting go of your past and you may see that it’ll lift the weight off of you allowing you to move and maneuver in life SUCCESSFULLY!

Gotta get to my workout…
Until next time…

Vernishia Renee

FAB Motivation: DON’T WORRY ABOUT HOW FAST YOU GROW. GOD’S ONLY CONCERN IS HOW STRONG YOU GROW.

As humans we tend to run a race with ourselves to see how fast we grow in any and everything we are touch. That any and everything can be a relationship, work, education, and even in our spiritual walk. But in reading the following scripture, it tells us exactly what we’ve been missing all along: God’s view on our lives happen to be a view of eternity. He’s not worry about how fast you grow- He’s concerned on how STRONG we grow in what we do.

Philippians 1:6

“I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in His grace until His task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns”

Today I encourage you to take a step back from whatever it is that has you racing with yourself when it comes to growth and meditate on these words:

TODAY I WILL NOT WORRY ABOUT HOW FAST I CAN GROW. TODAY WILL BE THE DAY I FOCUS ON HOW STRONG MY GROWTH IS.

We won’t become strong over night but I know with proper preparation and conditioning of our hearts, mind, soul and the most important one; our spirits, we WILL get there.
There will be struggles and battles, but the outcome will never be in doubt. God has promised that “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion” Philippians 1:6

Until next time…

Vernishia Renee

FAB Music Video of the Day: Tyrese- Signs of Love Making

When this song came out, boy I swear couldn’t no one tell me nothin’!

Ooooohhhhwwwweeee! That’s all I could say when I heard this song and then he comes out with the video, not much to it, BUT only if I could have been the girl for LEO and I could’ve proved I as a Leo could drive him crazy!

LOL I’m just kidding…

*clears throat*

I promise I’m going back to work now!

Until next time…

Vernishia Renee

FAB New Music Video: Fallin’ by JIVE Records Recording Artist K Michelle

K Michelle on set of video shoot for Fallin'- NFL star Kerry Rhodes is leading man

There’s a new addition to JIVE Records and it’s recording artist, K Michelle. It’s not like you didn’t know! I just thought I’d freshen your memory since it seems she’s here to stay!

But that’s not really why I’m posting this, I gotta put you in the loop about her upcoming video for the latest single, Fallin’ off her upcoming album, Pain Medicine. The video’s leading man is NFL star Kerry Rhodes and might I add, he’s sure is wonderful eye candy! See, now there’s a little bit for the fellas and the ladies.

The Memphis, Tennessee native’s single, Fallin’ is climbing charts currently holding the #30 spot.

Haven’t heard the song yet? Check it out

https://www.yousendit.com/download/bFFNUGhlcTJuSlJFQlE9PQ

Well, that’s my time once again… Gotta get back to work.

Until next time…

Vernishia Renee